Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
