I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You took a bar mat shot.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
