There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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