Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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