Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
