sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
