Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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