dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
