whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
