he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
