Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
