dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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