I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
