Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
