Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry punchy209 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

Fav 43 14767 1456
share tweet
(225): View more from Louisiana

Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min

Fav 21 4584 810
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce

Fav 41 1431 3402
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.

Fav 6 4388 1068
share tweet
(863): View more from Florida

I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.

Fav 11 1291 2338
share tweet
(772): View more from Florida

She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.

Fav 5 1934 897
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.

Fav 1 996 855
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(551): View more from New Jersey

my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house

Fav 1 19 63
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever

Fav 0 101 27
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT