what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
