She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
