You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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