He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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