so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
