did you get engaged???
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
