i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
