69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
