So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
