I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
