fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
