i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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