KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
