Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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