My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
