I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
