I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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