DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
