doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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