i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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