I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
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When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
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I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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