That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
