How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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