Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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