I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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