I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
