Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
