What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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