I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
