you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
