Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
