Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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