we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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