Having a random hookup so left but love u
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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