I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
