Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
