you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
