Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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