I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
