I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
