Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
A bitchslap is in order.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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