Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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