around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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