hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
