He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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