He is an equal opportunity slut.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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