You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
