I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
